My Life

"A crazy story of ups and downs, depression, and insanity."

Brian Larsen's Autobiography

"My life thus far has been as crazy a ride as those of the stories of the 70's, but without all those drugs and stuff."

I have, since he was a year old, been obsessed with music. At the age of two, I would listen to the radio, or watch Mtv for hours on end. I could fascinate people with my vast knowledge of artists of that period.

At the age of 6, I was shown a keyboard that was owned, at one time, by my brother. It absolutely floored me. I loved being able to play simple melodies that I could hear.

Shortly thereafter, I began taking music lessons from a private teacher in my neighborhood. Although it didnt give me the facility that I would have liked to have at that age, it taught me a lot about the basics of music.

It was around this time period that I was playing in a friends backyard when I, trying to detach a piece of fence, poked, right through my eye with a very large wooden stick. I remember feeling the Q-tip probing my eye, trying to remove stray wooden chips. Afterward, I had damaged vision. I was relegated to wearing glasses for three years, although it would eventually fully heal, minus the minor scar on my cornia.

Within two or so years learning with this teacher, she moved out of state, and I was in search for a new teacher. At the age of 10, I found the person I was looking for: Wendy Denger. She is the greatest piano teacher ever to grace the earth.

At the age of 10, I also began writing music. Many of my early songs were mere basic play on lyrics to Fleetwood Mac songs. Still, they showed some vocal power.

In 1997, along with my friend, I formed Twilights Moon. It became, even the day it was made, my major priority. The first incarnation of Twilights Moon was formed from my breif and unrecorded solo efforts. There were four members. However, within three weeks of formation, I fired one of the members. I simply didnt believe in his talent, if that even existed.

By early 1998, I was treading thin ice with another member of Twilights Moon. He, too, was fired on the spot. With Trevor; the co-founder, and myself as the only permanent members, we, too, began to have problems. With my being the leader, I could override his decisions. However, he chose to oppose my opinions.

This rocky road continued, and for some reason unbenounced to me, he signed over his co-owner rights, making me the full propietor of the band. It wasnt long after that he, too, was dejected from the band by me.

Now back at a basic sqaure one, I was all on my own. I made amends with Trevor within a month also, although I continued fueding with him, and hiring and firing him for 10 months after that.

I began to collect a group of material. I was watching the songs I wrote collect. It is now very early 1999. Enter the Depression period. Things were all in a downfall for me. I was writing songs, but getting nowhere with the arrangments with them. I was watching my grandfathers health deteriorate, and I was having my own troubles. I began to become reclusive, and lethargic... much more distant to talk to. In a spin of events I do not recall, I converted to Paganism.

I knew nothing about what I was getting into, and I knew no way of getting out. I was cornered, and things were only going to get worse...

My grandfather, finally reaching the end of his rope, died in mid-January, 1999. I was at a friends house when I received the news. All of this lead to my continual down-fall. I didnt even look healthy, all though I effectively hid it from my family.

I started succesfully composing songs, even though I was in a manic-depressive state. 1999 was proving to be a bad year for me. One of my best friend, and next door neighbors, died suddenly and without true cause. He leaned back in a chair late at night, and when the family woke up the next morning, he was already dead. I couldnt seem to make myself do anything, and I was at a loss for thought. How, I thought, could I let myself get this bad?

I tried, and I started being more optimistic, although I struggled for many months. Amongst all of this hoopla, I was finishing tracks for my first album, aptly titled "Pi." It was released in September, 1999. It was at this time I began a secret, but very serious addiction to caffeine. I was drinking, at times 6 cappucino's a day... I would get such stimulation that I would be light-headed, and forget common spellings, and even where I was.

Shortly thereafter, I started work on my second album, The Classics. I was still, even in the creation of this album, extremely lethargic, and a bit depressed. At this time, I founded Protocol Records, to handle all of my albums to come after it, and enlisted Pi on that label.

After an extremely short break, I began work on countless projects. I formed a partnership with the Rogue River Motion Picture Association, and Debra Ritz Mason and the rest of the cast of the best selling computer game of all time, 7th Guest. I reunited the cast members, and began projects with many of them, especially Debra, Robert Hirschboeck, and Jolene Patrick, although Robert Landeros, creator of the game, also became a main part in my works.

The Classics was released to moderate sales, and afterwards I worked to get myself free from all of my problems. I was now nearly free of my caffeine addiction, and with my depression. I founded ClockWork Media to handle my production rights, as well as the several companies and websites I owned. Big Love, media, the company I had founded years before, became the unlisted Subsidiary of ClockWork, with ClockWork enveloping all of its credits and production.

I was now healthy and happy, and ready to begin work on my album. It is late October, 1999, and Im excited to start. It was around this time that I made amends with Trevor, and he offered to be my fan mail manager, a position he holds true today. I was writing songs like crazy, and I was sharpening up my Piano, Guitar, Drum, Keyboard (including bass), and vocal skills.

I worked at a non-stop pace (although not depressive like before) to complete my third album, which was by now titled Slope. It was my main priority for a long, long time. One more crushing blow would still occour, though... I recieved, from my fan mail manager at the time, Kathy, a terrible letter. "I can no longer be part of this insanity," it said. She explained that I was just a little too crazy for her. I assume I worked too hard, and wanted a lot from everyone else, too. It wasnt hard to understand, though.. why she would want to leave.

It is now late 1999, and Im still working on Slope. I have had some setbacks, but Im still working well. I was able, then, to get out of my Paganism ways, also. I was not proud of it, and I never considered myself Pagan. It was a true mistake, and even when I claimed to be Pagan, I was still Christian. I am Christian to this day, and always will be. Of course, the fact that I play every instrument minus one part on one song also accounts for the amount of time it takes. On some days, all I would do would be to lay tracks, and record. I was also producing and engineering the album, proving my true and heighened "Control-freak," status.

By early, 2000, I was finishing The Slope, although still finishing the second album, Classics, on the side.

The Classics was released to moderate sales, and afterwards I worked to get myself free from all of my problems. I was now nearly free of my caffeine addiction, and with my depression. I founded ClockWork Media to handle my production rights, as well as the several companies and websites I owned. Big Love, media, the company I had founded years before, became the unlisted Subsidiary of ClockWork, with ClockWork enveloping all of its credits and production.

Now I was getting ready, and taking promo photos, doing lots of intereviews, and meeting with printers who would make promo posters, and the like. I could tell that it was going to be my largest album to date.

Slope was finished in late May, 2000, and I did basically everything on it, aside from the one drum part played by my friend, Philip, and the fan mail, promo photo and poster taking by Trevor.

I began taking advance orders shortly thereafter. I was now acquiring fans, and was, in a positive way, withdrawing myself from being readily contacted (no offense to anyone, but I dont like having a fan just willingly contact me whenever they feel. Thats not good for my security). The Slope is to be released August, 3, 2000, and Im extremely excited with the final product. Its soft, and edgy, with classical guitar, and then electric and more hard rock. I wrote every song but one, my covered rendition of Lindsey Buckingham's "Bleed to Love Her," and two songs written by me include my vocals.

With all of this, I started, at a MUCH slower pace, to hopefully prevent problems, my fourth album, Reflections: Classics II. It is similar to Classics, but with much more introversity. Im writing a lot of songs for this album, and it will feature much more complicated, soothing, and advanced classical pieces.

As for how I look back on my life so far, all I can say is that "Im more happy than Ive ever been in my entire life! I have had more than my fair share of ups and downs, and of good times and bad. Ive been depressed, and Ive been on top of the world. But I wouldnt trade my life for anything. Im happy to be making music and doing what I love."

Thank you for reading my story. It means a lot to me. If youd like to comment, please write: