December 17, 2003 Entry 79

So, yes, how the hell are you?
It's midweek, which is when I make my fewest number of entries, but alas, I'm making one now, even if it only lasts for a few seconds.
I'm getting ready for the holidays, spending lots of time with family, etc. My 25 year old brother is home from Hawaii for the next several weeks, and my entire huge family is getting together this Saturday with my sister-in-law's family, and we're all just going to enjoy an evening together.

Now that I've got more money to spend on the holidays (as does my corporate tax attorney brother and my other SeaBee brother), we've gotten an amazing present for my parents for Christmas. I'll tell you what it is after the holidays.
Now, what's cooler than being cool? ICE COLD!. Lend me some sugar, I AM your neighbour! I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm just bein' honest.

So I did a lot of shopping and got some really great looking clothes at stores like American Eagle. I think I'm going to be finalizing my look in January. You guys still haven't seen pics of me since my teeth went 17 shades whiter! It's amazing. I love looking at the mirror. I'm so pleased with everything, I just feel so revitalized and excited.

This album is the culmination of everything I've wanted in a disc all at once. It's like having your firstborn child. You get excited when you have nieces and nephews, but even though I've released six albums prior to it, it feels like "Broken Windows" is my first true work. It's incredible. AND, you can stream songs from the disc NOW at the BW page!

SO, on that note, I'm out of here, but I'll write more before the weekend. Talk to you all soon!

Love and krishna,
-Brian

December 10, 2003 Entry 78
Transcription of a handwritten entry

So I got the album and it is absolutely AMAZING and it's being shipped now, and we have it IN STOCK and it's going to the distributor THIS WEEK and you can order your copy today as they're shipping IMMEDIATELY... very cool! To all of you who have already ordered, yours is in the mail... they made a HUGE trip to the post office to ship everything.
I have NO time to write, but basically, that's the extent of it. So what happens now, you say? We're picking out a single and we're going to promote that to radio and take it from there. Touring of course is going to begin in earnest next year and we'll be promoting this all through 2004 and at some point in the near future I'll begin thinking about the next album but NOT before I spend a hell of a lot more time promoting BW.

To those of you who have said that you're extremely interested in the album but would like to hear song samples, have no fear! We've already uploaded those and will post them on the (*new*) "Broken Windows" page that is coming VERY soon (like by this weekend).
I'm doing all of this work in anticipation of the fact that I'm going to take a few weeks off very soon to spend the holidays with my older brothers (including the one who is flying in from Hawaii for 3 weeks), my girlfriend, and the rest of my family. It's time for a short break, and the holidays are the perfect time to take one. Whew, it's been a long year! I'm going to do a lot more personal reflecting as the new year draws closer, and I will of course give you all my plans and predictions for '04.

I've really got to go now, but look for lots of updates to the site in the coming weeks. I love you guys! Thanks for being such loyal supporters, you have no idea how much it means to me. My sun rises and sets with all of you!
-Love and Krishna,
-Brian

December 5, 2003 Entry 77

I just got off the drum set, which I was playing for almost two hours just messing around, but I was playing insanely hard and my hands are throbbing and I'm extremely hot. But, what else is new? (ha! I made a joke!)
Anyway, that's all. I understand that there are a couple other indie mags that are posting interviews that they've conducted with me a few months ago. I'll let you know when I find out when they're up and we'll post a transcription.

I've got to run, but I will talk to everyone soon!

Love you!
-Brian

November 29, 2003 Entry 76

November 28, 2003 Entry 75

Today was a 500 mile journey from South Carolina to Virginia. Boy, was it exhausting. On the way, I bought loads of fireworks (you always gotta have fireworks), and we stopped countless times to eat and have fun. I'm in my suite in Glen Allen, which is very nice, and tonite is just going to be one night of relaxing and then I head to Richmond for my cousin's gigantic engagement party (and you should see the ring). Talk to you soon!
Love you!
-Brian

November 27, 2003 Entry 74

I hope that everyone is having as great a Thanksgiving as I am. I'm enjoying it with lots and lots of family. Tomorrow morning I leave to go to Glen Allen, Va. I'm going to be there for a day or two and then I'm heading out from there. Gotta run again (this has been SUCH a busy week), love you!
-Brian

November 25, 2003 Entry 73

November 16, 2003 Entry 72

I can't talk, though. It's 1 A.M. and my eyes are drifting off (along with my head toward the keyboard itself). I will talk to you guys soon!

Peace and love,
-Brian

November 13, 2003 Entry 71

It looks like the first leg of the tour is going to be acoustic and the second leg is going to be with the band. These are going to be two distinctly different shows, with distinctly different takes on my stuff. The acoustic shows may come as early as the end of this year. I'm hoping to join the Borders' tour once again this summer, and we're looking to even do significant West Coast touring (most likely acoustic-only) in the late Summer of 2004.

I'm going to be demoing songs starting now (would you expect anything less of me?) but we're going to spend at least nine months to a year promoting the album. In that time span, I'm going to release an EP of Eastern music, and that album will be called "East". Believe me, you'll have plenty of notice for that. I haven't even begun production on that album at all, nor will I even think about it for the next several weeks.

You may have also noticed that I've done a great deal of interviews lately. There are plenty more coming, and you should be seeing those in publication in the coming weeks and months.

Today I want to give thanks to . Thank you SO much... you have changed my life for the better and I owe you more than you will ever know.

I've got to get going, I'll write by this weekend. Love you lots!
-Brian

November 9, 2003 Entry 70

"Broken Windows" has outsold all of my previous albums in preorders alone. So great, in fact, that I'm having the album remastered. I'm excited about that, as you can imagine. I've been reading some certain things, exploring, and finding out a lot of incredible things. I'm very excited about where I am right now. I've got some of the most amazing friends in the entire world, and we've just spent the entire week relaxing and laughing with each other... this has been a very cathartic week for me. I'm not healing from anything, but I'd like to think that I'm continuing to make myself stronger. I have some absolutely incredible people in my life. I really owe them so much.
To my new friend, John, I really value your friendship, and hope that we can continue to get to know each other better as time goes on, and that we may even be able to work with one another. You are amazing.
To my band: Steve, Aaron, Erica, and to Tristan, you guys rock, and I'm excited about our shows.
To Meg and Raq and Vicki, I love you very very much. Thank you SO much for being there for me.

Anyway, that's what's going on. Someone at Protocol is going to post the track listing and some low-qual samples so that you can get an idea of what the disc sounds like.
I guess that's about it. I'll write more tomorrow! Nite!
Love,
-Brian

October 26, 2003 Entry 69

Every little thing that you do
I'm so in love with you
It keeps getting better
I want to spend the rest of my life
With you by my side
Forever and ever

Johana is working on the art and says is going to be incredible. I'll talk more tonite... got to run!

Love, -Brian

October 25, 2003 Entry 68

Anyway, Promo-Only copies are available now and can be ordered from the "merchandise" page. Thanks to those of you who have (amazingly) already put in your orders. The staff has them "in-the-mail" and I hope you enjoy them.
Anyway, I've really got to get out of here, I have two interviews to do tonite. I'm featured in the October issue of Alternative Music Monthly, so catch that. We'll have a transcription up on the site soon.
I'm listening to the album now. Man, I am digging my own work too much.

Talk to you all tomorrow!

Love you!
-Brian

October 23, 2003 Entry 67

Gotta run and meet with the band! Talk to you later tonite (hopefully)!
-Brian

October 22, 2003 Entry 66

-Brian

October 15, 2003 Entry 65

The waiting drove me mad
You're finally here and I'm a mess
I take your entrance back
Can't let you roam inside my head
I don't want to take what you can't give...
I would rather starve than eat your bread...

Hello to everyone out there!
This week is flying by, and it's already Wednesday! I can hardly believe it. Let's see, what's new around here? A few new members to the Protocol team, look for their pages going up soon. The album is rocking, and pre-sales have already surpassed sales of all but "Electric" and "Slope". It's surprising and wonderful, to say the least.

I got a domestic royalty check for "Electric" and decided to treat myself, so I got a custom Takamine! It is THE BEST and most easily played instrument I have ever own. In fact, it's so good that it flat-out amazes me every time I play it.
Tomorrow is a big celebration for my best friend's birthday. We're going out and doing something big. Remember, P, "Why in gods name would you want to wear [that color]? Why would you want to attract ANY attention to yourself?" HAHA! And to Raquy, "the teams is", I love you and so does mom. She thinks you're her daughter.
Ali, I love you.
Jihan, I miss you and I really enjoyedd seeing you this week.
Vicki, thanks for making me feel so good.
MV, I loooove you!

Talk to everyone soon! Stay well, I'll write more tomorrow!
Love,
-Brian

October 9, 2003 Entry 64

I light your cigarettes
I bring you apples from the vine
How quickly you forget
I run the bath and pour the wine
I bring you everything that floats into your mind

But you don't bring me anything but down
You don't bring me anything but down

Hey, I've got like no time to write. This week has been GREAT but very long. I've got 3" Five track BW EPs that are out now, and in addition, the book is coming out! This is my first book ever, and we've bumped back the release to accomodate the wealth of pages it's going to have. I'm really proud of everything. If there were two things I could say about my life right now it would be that I'm proud of where I am... that I'm TOTALLY content with everything and happy to be me.
I send my love and support to the Midkiff family. I'm very sorry about the loss of Gene, I was shocked and saddened and so was the entire team.

This weeekend is some mixing and mastering and most importantly, LOTS of rest. I've been chugging on like a machine this last month.

Love you all! Talk to you before Friday,
-Brian

October 4, 2003 Entry 63

Talk to everyone soon! I've got to run and get some more tour-related stuff done. Love you guys!
-Brian

October 3, 2003 Entry 62

I choose to be her confidant 
And to keep her from the fire 
I choose to be quietly discreet 
If that is her desire 
I touch with gossamer wings 
To be quiet around you 
There is so much going on 
You could easily
Wake up with a stranger 
It's not something you plan 
One night in a world of pain 
And you finally understand 
Not all the king's horses, not all the king's men 
Could put it back together 

No time to write, I will talk to everyone soon! This week has been incredible! Special shot out to Raquy, my love... we're going to spend lots of time this weekend with my bud, Justin Pierre of Motion City Soundtrack. Hope your week was as good as mine! :-)
Love you!

-Brian

September 27, 2003 Entry 61

Ok, I really do only have a minute to write, so I'll keep it short. Tour preparations have continued this week. In addition, I've been back in the studio cutting a few more songs. Those sessions went EXTREMELY well and I came out the other end with two GREAT new songs. I couldn't be happier.

The album is just incredible. I had a listening party for where it stands right now with some friends and they were blown away. I'm really excited, guys! :-)

Anyway, I gotta run. Thanks for putting in all those orders for the shirts, stickers, and buttons. I really appreciate it :-)
A shout out to the Raqmaster and to you-know-who. I love you. Talk to you soon! I'll write more tomorrow.

Love you!

-Brian

September 19, 2003 Entry 60

I'm a little lost
Let me find my way
I'm a little dead
Let me live
Been living in the past
Let me rise today
Led a selfish life
Let me give.

HOW LONG?
HOW LONG?
HOW LONG?
HOW LONG WE WAIT!!
Wait for the light that might light our way
Wait for the right twist of fate

You were livin' under the reign of kings
You were livin' under the gun
I know it made you do a lot of things
You wish that you'd never done

Going out with someone really special today! Also tour rehearsal. We've added two more to the setlist. Acoustic show booking dates should be announced soon. Band shows in November/December on.
Love you!
-Brian

September 18, 2003 Entry 59

What else? Oh, I want to say hello to Nguzi, my good friend. I am certainly going to take you up on your offer sometime and just come stay and relax. I'm serious, too, Im really going to do it!

I want to give a special, special, special hello to a very special person in my life, Wendy. :-) You know how you can make me smile in an instant. No one can do that like you can. "Six kimonos... no... you're right... SEVEN kimonos!" Haha! Remember, 6 o'clock... TV hour! Ooh, or... "It's a raaaace!" There are just too many to name. I'm going to keep reading, I promise :-)

Yes, so... that is the summary of my week. I have to admit, I didn't realize how beautiful the world truly was until recently. You guys... at least some of you, most of you know what I'm talking about. Thanks for helping me get there. Man, BW just keeps getting mixed and mastered and keeps sounding better and better. The private concerts that we've been doing are absolutely INCREDIBLE. My voice on songs like SYHA, or (INY)P, or even IKINW is just shocking, even to me. I've really got everything together vocally, and I've been practicing everything so much. We went in and re-mixed the vocals to a few songs as well, all leading up to the true commercial release.

So, talk to everyone soon! Thanks for the star, Raquy!
Nite, everyone. Hope the Hurricane doesn't strike you!

Love,
-Brian

September 13, 2003 Entry 58

Talk to everyone tonite.
Love, -Brian

September 10, 2003 Entry 57

The rest of my day was extremely fun. I'm meeting with the publisher to discuss the "Broken Windows" book and T-Shirts are here TOMORROW!
Talk to you all soon!

Love you!
-Brian

September 8, 2003 Entry 56

T-Shirts are arriving this Thursday and will be on sale, along with the buttons and stickers, by this weekend.
I want to thank everyone I saw over the weekend, and those that I spent lots of time with, for making it one of the most incredible weekends I've ever had and letting me truly relax.
I love you guys!
Talk to you soon!

-Brian

September 7, 2003 Entry 55

And I carried on
Like I couldn't stop
All of it for us, baby
And you, you got in my way
Stood between me and my friends
It was my sin
It was my shame
You were unconscious to the pain I was in
I hear there's Trouble in Shangri-La

Hey!
So last night could not have been a better night. A friend and I ended up just driving around, doing some shopping, hanging out, etc. It was loads of fun. And then we found incense in my car. So we "hotboxed" the car (a term I learned last night, look it up), and burned half a dozen incense simultaneously. I was crying from laughter. And when I showed up at Taco Bell coughing up a lung and laughing until I was in tears and I paid the incorrect amount, the guy had to have thought I was crazy.

I'm getting ready to get dressed and get beautiful because I am going to a Dashboard Confessional concert tonite. I couldn't possibly know less of their music, but it's a gathering with a special friend, so I'm gonna go for it.
Hey, so that's the summary of my day. Except to mention this inside joke (gramatical errors included) "Many new athletes joins the team also returning athletes. Such as the key athleses... The teams is really enjured for the season." If that could POSSIBLY be laden with more errors, let me know. Haha!
Talk to you soon

Love you!
-Brian

September 5, 2003 Entry 54

Hope everyone has enjoyed this week... it's been a great one for me.
Yesterday could not have possibly been a more perfect day. I've had a very, very special friend who has had a terrible week and has been going through a lot. So I decided to invite her over. She came over and we went out to dinner with my parents, whom she finally got the opportunity to get to know more in-depth (although she had seen them several times before). Then we came back and took a while to just talk, and we watched the pre-season NFL thing. I was shocked by how many of the performers were blatantly lip syncing. Afterward, we watched some of the Redskins/Jets game (I NEVER watch football), and laughed uncontrollably at the commercials. In one of the commercials, a cashier at a grocery store says "I'm open over here," and this huge football-player-guy takes a pinapple and throws it from the back of the store and hits the cashier in the head. I was crying because it was so hilarious.

So, yes, taht's about it for my day. Today, I have an audition for a band, Blasphemous Jane, who is seeking a contract with Protocol Records. I'm having a friend spend the weekend at my house and we are basically going to just goof off and have fun for the next two days. Sounds like fun!
Talk to you all soon! Love you!
-Brian

September 3, 2003 Entry 53

I'm back in Maryland after having a wonderful extended weekend of family and relaxation (and looking at gorgeous women).
My dietician has me on a crazy diet. It couldn't be more healthy. We're taking a total protein, low carb approach (it's somewhat similar to the Atkins diet). I couldn't possibly have more energy! It's something about the huge level of protein and the low carb content, or something like that... gotta love doctors!

A friend of my family, Donna, introduced me to her daughter, who she very much wants me to date :-). She was gorgeous, and 24 years old! I don't know what that has to do with anything, but I thought I would throw it in there.
I think I might be starting to get a cold, but it's not affecting me at all. You know, DayQuil during the day and NyQuil at night! I think it was something that I got from driving 1300 miles in three days.

I think that's everything... pretty sure T-Shirts are here tomorrow (I hope), and I've got stickers and everything. Those are all going up soon. SO... I will talk to everyone soon!

Love to you!
-Brian

As I stepped to the edge
Of the shadow of a doubt
With my conscience beating
Like the pulse of a drum
That hammers on and on
Until I reach the break of the day
As the sun beats down
The halfway house
Has my conscience beating
The sound in my ear
The will to perserve
As I reach the break of the day

When you lost all hope and excuses
And the cheapstakes & the losers
Nothing's left to cling onto
You got to hold onto yourself

A cry of hope
A plea for peace
And my conscience beating
It's not what I want for
It's all that I need
To reach the break of day
So I run to the edge
Beyond the shadow of a doubt
With my conscience bleeding
Here lies the truth
The lost treasures of my youth
As I hold on to the break of the day

When you lost all hope and excuses
And the cheapstakes & losers
Nothing's left to cling onto
You got to hold onto yourself

August 31, 2003 Entry 52

I can only write for a second, but you guys would not believe the time that I'm having here in South Carolina. I couldn't have asked for better weather... as I sit out on the dock with a Guiness on one side and a LeBatt Blue on the other... it's the greatest thing ever! I could NOT have POSSIBLY had a more relaxing trip in my entire life... seriously!
The important thing that I wanted to tell you guys, though, is that it looks like it just might be a greenlight on project "New Girlfriend." I'll keep you posted! I already got more than 40 comments in 24 hours about the fact that I met someone new! I feel like Rick Rockwell here, everyone... except I don't suck as a comedian. :-)
OK, everybody, I'm outta here so I can go back on the beach!

Love you all!
-Brian

August 30, 2003 Entry 51

SO! Other than that, nothing has been going on. In the middle of a ten hour car ride, Craig called me to let me know that the shirts were being shipped tonite, so that means that they will be here by the time I get home! Excellent! This means that I'll be posting them probably by Thursday! I know everyone is excited, and I've already told him that we're probably going to end up doing a second run relatively soon on black shirts.

And that's about the size of what's going on in my life right now. Pretty big stuff, don't you agree? And we can only hope that the relationship that I've got going on with this new girl will blossom... wouldn't that rock for me?

I've been listening to the new Alien Ant Farm CD. Go out and get it, it rocks. I'll be hooking up with them shortly, I hope.

I send lots of love to you guys! Have a great Labor Day Weekend!
-Brian

August 27, 2003 Entry 50

And then I get a huge e-mail, and it's from my baby! She said what was, hands down, some of the most romantic things that I've ever heard in my entire life! She told me about how she had a dream... that she and I had a baby, and that the three of us were cuddling in bed, just laying together falling asleep, and we put the baby to bed, and you can only imagine that the remainder is incredibly sweet and romantic... but just the way, the delicate way that she described what we were doing blew my mind. I'm definitely not used to someone being so sweet. Anyway, I love you, honey!

That's all for today! I'm going to get SO much done tomorrow, and I can already promise you that it's going to be GREAT... then, Friday, I'm outta here! I'll be back and forth, like I said, for the rest of the week and into next week. I'm quite excited... I'm going to try to make as many entries as possible.

Nice talking to everyone! I was shocked when management told me that I got FORTY e-mails yesterday. You guys kick ASS! I love you!
Keep in touch. And thanks again to Pirnaha for getting everything done with Wazimbo.

I love you much!
-Brian

August 26, 2003 Entry 49

Oh, yes!
Make it always like this
Make it always this fun
Make me wanna run outside
And scream
And shoot down the sun

Oh yes!
Keep it always this bright
Let me cling onto your heart
Ward off the night
Make the sky my door
Cause I just wanna open my arms
I know we'll go so far
Forevermore

And to everyone who is new in my life in the last two weeks... Vicki, Kala, and everyone else... I love you all! And Hal, I hope you weren't scared off by how excited my management was. They're great people, and they're so excited for me to collaborate and meet with some great new people. :-)

I love you guys so damn much.
-Brian! :-D

August 25, 2003 Entry 48

Thanks for all your letters! I love you!

That's all for now. I'll write more later!!
Love you!
-Mr. Happy (that's me!!) :-)

August 23, 2003 Entry 47

Keep young and beautiful
It's your duty to be beautiful
Keep young and beautiful
If you want to be loved

Haha. So, what, my children, is new?! Yes, it's been a wonderfully long week. I did a few newspaper interviews in the last few days. Ill have them transcribed by someone and posted within the next few days. I'm telling you, they're really good. I was called the "second most handsome metrosexual man in the world." I guess that means that the first most famous is still David Beckham, damn it.

Ah, what else is up? I've been doing tour rehearsal all week. The touring band is comprised of myself on Guitar, Lead Vocals, and Keyboards, Steve Thompson on Guitar and Vocals, Aaron Lewis on Drums, and Erica Whitsell on Bass. Those are my babies right there, those three. Oh, and our roadie, Raquie! We're a kickass group. Look for lots of shows October or November through ? 2004. I've also been hanging out with some girlfriends lately. Ash, I love you!
I've taken a look at "Broken Windows" the book, and I must say, I am quite impressed. That has been one of the coolest things that I've ever done. Also, the T-shirts are going to be great. The design is the new "talk to the hand" brand that we're pushing right now. It is really, really cool. We've also got the "Twilight's Moon Rocks My Socks" brand that is going to be found on some shirts and stickers. Those are going to be up and for sale within the next week, I guaran-damn-tee it (no pun intended).

Yeah, there are lots of freaks out there, and I had to go and meet several of them over the years, but that's ok, because I am the best person that I've ever been in my entire life right now. Now. Without the baggage. I couldn't ask for more... and I know it's getting old, but I could not possibly be happier in my life. I've got everything! I've got the cash, the girl, the love, the music... absolutely everything. What can I say? I guess if you do good things and live well and really deserve to be rewarded, you do.

It's all about my Karma. It really is. What good karma. Rock on! I'll write more tomorrow!
Love,

Brian

August 19, 2003 Entry 46

Come on let's go!
I'm very excited about the book. I think it's a great companion to the album. I'm contacting Wendy Robie, a genius of stage and screen. Her portrayal of "Mommy" in "The People Under The Stairs" is easily one of the five greatest female lead roles ever on screen. I don't know why I love that movie so much. I remember seeing it in 1991 in theatres, and it's been my movie ever since. Everett McGill, you are god.
I want to thank you (you know who you are), once again, for having me over this weekend. I had unspeakable fun. It was a great opportunity to relax (as if I needed it, ha!), and enjoy some private time.
Go me! I'm doing absolutely excellent. I swear, if I keep on this level, I'm going to end up married in a year, and I'll have put out seven more albums! Ha!

Love you!
-Brian